Why? What made her do it? Tears coursed down my checks, as I stared at the closed casket. It seemed so futile. There had been no closure of last "good-byes" or even a final viewing.
I tried to drown the sobs that threatened to overwhelm me. I could hear the muffled sounds of sniffing, coughing, and throats being cleared around me. Flowers covered the casket and the four steps leading up to the podium. I've been to a lot of funerals. I even have a "funeral" dress, and just wearing it is enough to fuel tears for even the most distant acquaintances.
This one is different. I watch the family enter from a side door. I can see the guilt, anger, confusion, and dread on their pale faces. This memorial service is not an end but a beginning - a beginning of unanswered questions, broken dreams, and empty hearts. This will be a day that most of us who are gathered today will never forget.
Life is painful. Not always. But, sooner or later, we all encounter pain. Whether it is self-induced or inflicted by others, disaster, tragedies, and grief eventually come knocking on our door. It is inevitable.
Thankfully, we are not left to face the denial, anger, guilt, and tears alone. "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you" (John 14:18). Christ's words are reassuring.
Throughout our lives, we grieve for so many things. Death is just one of them. Divorce. Separation. Loss of a job. Illness and disease destroy our options. Dreams lie shattered in our hands. Friendships come and go.
Go ahead and mourn. Grieve. But know that as you walk through the process that you do not walk alone. In fact, you are never alone. God assures us, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). He is a "friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24), and is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15). He understands our pain and weaknesses.
In the Beatitudes, Jesus promised, "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4). So, if your heart is broken today, you have God's attention. He sees each tear. He hears each sigh. He is moving toward you, with arms outstretched. "Come to me . . . I know. I understand, and I care. I love you!"
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